Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2018 Edition


Play again?
That moment when you didn‘t think you wanted one, but you really do Poorly implemented cloud features Tech nerds moaning about open-plan offices “Budget phone”: the biggest grammatical LOL since “alternative facts” The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished
Smiling children in an emerging market play with an iPad Steve Jobs Medical Centre Thin as a feature Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade Your old watch is junk! JUNK!
Lots of iPhone-shot pictures of smiling Caucasians Still not round, though, is it? FreeSpace New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”) Sir Jony Ive
“We’ve doubled down on security, just in case. Everything’s fine, though.” Tim Cook The ever-growing confusion of which devices get true-tone, force-touch, mega-frame-rate 9.42am! Advert
EXCRUCIATING third party demo Eddy Cue does some dad dancing “Our most affordable expensive phone ever” All the colours! Available in all the colours! New Apple TV screensavers

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum