Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2017 Edition


Play again?
“Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?” Tim Cook Losing track of the number of things Steve Jobs would never have allowed ZING! Take THAT Google! Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true
Content rights holders visibly soiling themselves “It’s in beta, right now” “Let me show it to you” “Partnership” Footage of pleasingly diverse (for Apple) employees in a glass meeting room
Here comes the finance bit! What if FaceID triggers when you have porn open in a browser window? FreeSpace Everyone loses their shit about something technical Retweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple product
Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade They killed Touch ID! You bastards! Vague promises of innovation to come [a Drag Race GIF that perfectly illustrates something] Computer controlled milling machine action shot
Stealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the Keynote Tech nerds moaning about open-plan offices “We think it’s great” Whatever, it’s still a square watch Enterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes*

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