Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2018 Edition


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Steve Jobs Multi-Faith Prayer Room That moment when you didn‘t think you wanted one, but you really do Price point slightly too high, but not high enough to stop you buying iPhone with Thunderbolt 3 and TouchBar Still not round, though, is it?
[a Drag Race GIF that perfectly illustrates something] The ever-growing confusion of which devices get true-tone, force-touch, mega-frame-rate Eddy Cue Nice independent software maker totally undermined by a new feature Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again
“Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?” The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished FreeSpace AirPods still make you look like an idiot “Let me show it to you”
Tim Cook Home automate ALL THE THINGS “We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance” Apple stops pretending the Apple Watch is anything other than an expensive Fitbit Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audience
MOAR WATCH STRAPS “Billion” Phil Schiller Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade Footage of pleasingly diverse (for Apple) employees in a glass meeting room

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum