Apple Keynote Bingo

Hello Again
October 2016 Edition


BINGO!

Play again?
They Forgot About DreSiri on more stuff - more uselessness, more of the timeFirst “hands-on” from CNet that is anything butMyraid ports replaced by USB-CNew Apple TV screensavers (because that will fix it, obviously)
Here comes the finance bit!Physical Escape key sold for $9.99 and €9.99, but also £9.99 (f*ck you, Brexit)Like a MacBook Pro… but thinnerNew, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”)All the colours! Available in all the colours!
9.42am!Eddy CueFreeSpaceNice independent software maker totally undermined by a new featureInane fratboy-esque whooping from the audience
Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY trueSwift? Maybe. I’m not a developer. I don’t care“We hope you like it”“Boom!/Bam!” or other onomatopoeic wordStealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the Keynote
Tim Cook“It’s in beta, right now”Price point slightly too high, but not high enough to stop you buyingDreadful skit“Partnership”

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum