Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2017 Edition


Play again?
“Partnership” Here comes the finance bit! Totally off-the-mark and utterly uncool original video content A new app that looks OK, but nothing special Super-earnest medical research VT
Steve Jobs Medical Centre “Billion” Enterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes* Wireless charging! Great! *throws a dozen Lightning cables in the trash* Nice independent software maker totally undermined by a new feature
Beyond-acceptable pricing, magically justifying itself by Friday Eddy Cue does some dad dancing FreeSpace ZING! Take THAT Google! Time-lapse of new office reacting to weather conditions
Whatever, it’s still a square watch Footage of pleasingly diverse (for Apple) employees in a glass meeting room Apple stops pretending the Apple Watch is anything other than an expensive Fitbit Lots of iPhone-shot pictures of smiling Caucasians Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade
Something to do with home automation. A refrigerator perhaps? Everyone loses their shit about something technical iPhone X (“The ‘X’ makes it sound cool”) All the colours! Available in all the colours! What if FaceID triggers when you have porn open in a browser window?

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