Apple Keynote Bingo

Hello Again
October 2016 Edition


Play again?
Can you play the function key panel like a cheap child’s toy piano? I hope soYou get a Pro thing, You get a Pro thing, EVERYBODY GETS A PRO THING!Myraid ports replaced by USB-CNew Apple TV screensavers (because that will fix it, obviously)Hopes the “music” act isn‘t a DJ cross-fading on the touchbar
Headphone jack now via USB-C -> lightning -> 3.5mm adapterSwift? Maybe. I’m not a developer. I don’t care“I’ll never get used to that!” *gets used to it almost immediately*All the colours! Available in all the colours!Tim Cook’s thin, watery smile
“Boom!/Bam!” or other onomatopoeic wordDisappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY trueFreeSpaceSir Jony IveZING! Take THAT Google!
“Let me show it to you”Super-earnest medical research VTApple Pay statsA tweet that just says “oooh” followed by a bunch of hashtagsNice independent software maker totally undermined by a new feature
Dreadful skitBeats 2: all the middle-of-the-roads hits, all the time.Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audienceJony: “I won’t be happy until it’s just a featureless block of metal”.Where’s the Mac Pro update, Apple?

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum