Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2017 Edition


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Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again Nice independent software maker totally undermined by a new feature Apple Pay stats Sir Jony Ive Steve Jobs Multi-Faith Prayer Room
Stealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the Keynote [a Drag Race GIF that perfectly illustrates something] Tim Cook’s thin, watery smile Price point slightly too high, but not high enough to stop you buying Computer controlled milling machine action shot
New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”) Steve Jobs Theatre FreeSpace Phil Schiller Losing track of the number of things Steve Jobs would never have allowed
Retweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple product 9.42am! Eddy Cue H*cking Brexit Steve Jobs Medical Centre
“Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?” New Apple TV screensavers (because that will fix it, obviously) “Let me show it to you” Jony: “I won’t be happy until it’s just a featureless block of metal”. Deluded attempt to fix the Apple TV by changing the interface again

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