Apple Keynote Bingo
September 2017 Edition
|Apple Pay stats
||Jony: “I won’t be happy until it’s just a featureless block of metal”.
||The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished
||Retweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple product
||Stealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the Keynote
|Time-lapse of new office reacting to weather conditions
||New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”)
||Something to do with home automation. A refrigerator perhaps?
||Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again
||Computer controlled milling machine action shot
||“Here it is”
||Tech nerds moaning about open-plan offices
|Attempting to fix the Apple TV remote with software update
||Lots of iPhone-shot pictures of smiling Caucasians
||Super-earnest medical research VT
||“But I’ve already given the NSA my fingerprints…”
||Eddy Cue does some dad dancing
|All the colours! Available in all the colours!
||Glimmers of hope that ARKit might actually have practical applications
||Enterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes*
||Apple effectively claims to have invented HDR
Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss • Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum