Apple Keynote Bingo

“Let us loop you in”
March 2016 Edition


BINGO!

Play again?
Enterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes*The still odd concept of Zane Lowe working for AppleThey Didn’t Forget About Dre“We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance”EXCRUCIATING third party demo
Retweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple productThe Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finishedMOAR WATCH BANDS for your increasingly useless watchTim Cook’s thin, watery smileApple Music becomes marginally less infuriating
A tweet that just says “oooh” followed by a bunch of hashtagsNew office…or Deathstar?FreeSpaceHere comes the finance bit!Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade
3D Touch rebranded again to something even creepier“Apple Watch” not “the Apple Watch”Watch’s purely decorative role confirmed by more bandsEveryone loses their shit about something technicalAdvert
Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true(It’s been tough to add new ones this time – incremental improvement doesn’t lead to breakthrough humour)New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”)Apply Pay statsInane fratboy-esque whooping from the audience

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum