Apple Keynote Bingo
September 2017 Edition
|“Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?”
||Losing track of the number of things Steve Jobs would never have allowed
||ZING! Take THAT Google!
||Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true
|Content rights holders visibly soiling themselves
||“It’s in beta, right now”
||“Let me show it to you”
||Footage of pleasingly diverse (for Apple) employees in a glass meeting room
|Here comes the finance bit!
||What if FaceID triggers when you have porn open in a browser window?
||Everyone loses their shit about something technical
||Retweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple product
|Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade
||They killed Touch ID! You bastards!
||Vague promises of innovation to come
||[a Drag Race GIF that perfectly illustrates something]
||Computer controlled milling machine action shot
|Stealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the Keynote
||Tech nerds moaning about open-plan offices
||“We think it’s great”
||Whatever, it’s still a square watch
||Enterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes*
Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss • Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum