Apple Keynote Bingo
October 2016 Edition
|Hopes the “music” act isn‘t a DJ cross-fading on the touchbar
||Where’s the Mac Pro update, Apple?
||New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”)
||“Let me show it to you”
||ZING! Take THAT Google!
|Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audience
||Swift? Maybe. I’m not a developer. I don’t care
||Physical Escape key sold for $9.99 and €9.99, but also £9.99 (f*ck you, Brexit)
||First “hands-on” from CNet that is anything but
||EXCRUCIATING third party demo
|No headphone port! *Muppet arm flail*
||Enterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes*
||Like a MacBook Pro… but thinner
||They Forgot About Dre
||[Seriously, tho – MagSafe was ace. WHY, APPLE? WHY?]
||New office… or Deathstar?
|Something to do with home automation. A refrigerator perhaps?
||Nice independent software maker totally undermined by a new feature
||Male presenters undo yet another shirt button
||“We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance”
||“We hope you like it”
Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss • Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum