Apple Keynote Bingo
September 2017 Edition
|Eddy Cue does some dad dancing
||Vague promises of innovation to come
||Stealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the Keynote
||Jony: “I won’t be happy until it’s just a featureless block of metal”.
|Something to do with home automation. A refrigerator perhaps?
||“Here it is”
||100% more glass for extra shatterability
||They killed Touch ID! You bastards!
||Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true
||What if FaceID triggers when you have porn open in a browser window?
||First “hands-on” from CNet that is anything but
||That moment when you didn‘t think you wanted one, but you really do
||Steve Jobs Medical Centre
||Steve Jobs Staff Restaurant
||4K Apple TV is only actually 3.999K
|You get a Pro thing, You get a Pro thing, EVERYBODY GETS A PRO THING!
||Deluded attempt to fix the Apple TV by changing the interface again
||“We hope you like it”
||Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again
||The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished
Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss • Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum