||Here comes the finance bit!
||Totally off-the-mark and utterly uncool original video content
||A new app that looks OK, but nothing special
||Super-earnest medical research VT
|Steve Jobs Medical Centre
||Enterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes*
||Wireless charging! Great! *throws a dozen Lightning cables in the trash*
||Nice independent software maker totally undermined by a new feature
|Beyond-acceptable pricing, magically justifying itself by Friday
||Eddy Cue does some dad dancing
||ZING! Take THAT Google!
||Time-lapse of new office reacting to weather conditions
|Whatever, it’s still a square watch
||Footage of pleasingly diverse (for Apple) employees in a glass meeting room
||Apple stops pretending the Apple Watch is anything other than an expensive Fitbit
||Lots of iPhone-shot pictures of smiling Caucasians
||Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade
|Something to do with home automation. A refrigerator perhaps?
||Everyone loses their shit about something technical
||iPhone X (“The ‘X’ makes it sound cool”)
||All the colours! Available in all the colours!
||What if FaceID triggers when you have porn open in a browser window?