Apple Keynote Bingo
September 2017 Edition
|Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true
||You get a Pro thing, You get a Pro thing, EVERYBODY GETS A PRO THING!
||The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished
||Retweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple product
||A new app that looks OK, but nothing special
|Steve Jobs Theatre
||Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again
||Steve Jobs Staff Restaurant
||Losing track of the number of things Steve Jobs would never have allowed
|“We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance”
||Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade
||Wireless charging! Great! *throws a dozen Lightning cables in the trash*
|That’s a NICE new Apple Store
||“We think it’s great”
||Apple effectively claims to have invented HDR
||New office… or Deathstar?
||“But I’ve already given the NSA my fingerprints…”
|“Here it is”
||ZING! Take THAT Google!
||Poorly implemented cloud features
||Steve Jobs Multi-Faith Prayer Room
Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss • Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum