Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2018 Edition


BINGO!

Play again?
Apple Pay stats Nice independent software maker totally undermined by a new feature “Billion” Enterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes* “Budget phone”: the biggest grammatical LOL since “alternative facts”
“Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?” Apple stops pretending the Apple Watch is anything other than an expensive Fitbit iPhone Midi-Maxi Victory finally declared in the war on bezels Respect the OLED…and tame the notch
The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished “It’s available in beta, right now” FreeSpace All the colours! Available in all the colours! “We hope you like it”
Still not round, though, is it? Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true AirPods still make you look like an idiot Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again 9.42am!
Parabolic curve on underside of watch subtly, accessorily, incompatibly different The never ending quest to avoid calling it “pink” EXCRUCIATING third party demo New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”) “Colours still black, silver and pink; names continue not to be”

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum