Apple Keynote Bingo

Hello Again
October 2016 Edition


BINGO!

Play again?
Previously ethusiatic Unix Nerds decrying loss of keys they never used “Billion” Here comes the finance bit! Smiling children in an emerging market play with an iPad Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audience
Hopes the “music” act isn‘t a DJ cross-fading on the touchbar Sir Jony Ive You get a Pro thing, You get a Pro thing, EVERYBODY GETS A PRO THING! Headphone jack now via USB-C -> lightning -> 3.5mm adapter Something to do with home automation. A refrigerator perhaps?
No headphone port! *Muppet arm flail* New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”) FreeSpace 9.42am! Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade
Apple Pay stats MacPro gets an underwhelming update ZING! Take THAT Google! Even the fanboys seem bored with iterative improvement First “hands-on” from CNet that is anything but
That moment when you didn‘t think you wanted one, but you really do “We think it’s great” Where’s the Mac Pro update, Apple? Advert “We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance”

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum