|Jony: “I won’t be happy until it’s just a featureless block of metal”.
||Steve Jobs Theatre
||Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again
||“It’s in beta, right now”
||Content rights holders visibly soiling themselves
|That’s a NICE new Apple Store
||Computer controlled milling machine action shot
||That moment when you didn‘t think you wanted one, but you really do
||First “hands-on” from CNet that is anything but
||New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”)
|The ever-growing confusion of which devices get true-tone, force-touch, mega-frame-rate
||Attempting to fix the Apple TV remote with software update
||Vague promises of innovation to come
||Sir Jony Ive
|All the colours! Available in all the colours!
||Everyone loses their shit about something technical
||Beyond-acceptable pricing, magically justifying itself by Friday
||“Let me show it to you”
||Tim Cook’s thin, watery smile
|MOAR WATCH STRAPS
||What if FaceID triggers when you have porn open in a browser window?
||“Boom!/Bam!” or other onomatopoeic word
||Totally off-the-mark and utterly uncool original video content