Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2018 Edition


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Nice independent software maker totally undermined by a new feature iPhone XSDoublePlusGood Vague promises of innovation to come Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audience Phil Schiller
Apple stops pretending the Apple Watch is anything other than an expensive Fitbit Still not round, though, is it? New Apple TV screensavers Jony: “I won’t be happy until it’s just a featureless block of metal”. First “hands-on” from CNet that is anything but
Victory finally declared in the war on bezels Serenity Caldwell! FreeSpace You get a Pro thing, You get a Pro thing, EVERYBODY GETS A PRO THING! Retweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple product
The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished Attempting to fix the Apple TV remote with software update Whatever, it’s still a square watch Smiling children in an emerging market play with an iPad Here comes the finance bit!
“Budget phone”: the biggest grammatical LOL since “alternative facts” Price point slightly too high, but not high enough to stop you buying Computer controlled milling machine action shot “Boom!/Bam!” or other onomatopoeic word Everyone loses their shit about something technical

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum