Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2017 Edition


Play again?
Jony: “I won’t be happy until it’s just a featureless block of metal”. Steve Jobs Theatre Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again “It’s in beta, right now” Content rights holders visibly soiling themselves
That’s a NICE new Apple Store Computer controlled milling machine action shot That moment when you didn‘t think you wanted one, but you really do First “hands-on” from CNet that is anything but New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”)
The ever-growing confusion of which devices get true-tone, force-touch, mega-frame-rate Attempting to fix the Apple TV remote with software update FreeSpace Vague promises of innovation to come Sir Jony Ive
All the colours! Available in all the colours! Everyone loses their shit about something technical Beyond-acceptable pricing, magically justifying itself by Friday “Let me show it to you” Tim Cook’s thin, watery smile
MOAR WATCH STRAPS What if FaceID triggers when you have porn open in a browser window? “Boom!/Bam!” or other onomatopoeic word “Billion” Totally off-the-mark and utterly uncool original video content

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