Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2017 Edition


BINGO!

Play again?
Nice independent software maker totally undermined by a new feature Wireless charging! Great! *throws a dozen Lightning cables in the trash* Everyone loses their shit about something technical 100% more glass for extra shatterability Advert
Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true Vague promises of innovation to come You get a Pro thing, You get a Pro thing, EVERYBODY GETS A PRO THING! “We hope you like it” Dreadful skit
Siri on more stuff – more uselessness, more of the time Apple effectively claims to have invented HDR FreeSpace “I’ll never get used to that!” *gets used to it almost immediately* Eddy Cue does some dad dancing
Tim Cook Content rights holders visibly soiling themselves Deluded attempt to fix the Apple TV by changing the interface again Phil Schiller A new app that looks OK, but nothing special
Steve Jobs Multi-Faith Prayer Room “Billion” Poorly implemented cloud features Something to do with home automation. A refrigerator perhaps? Computer controlled milling machine action shot

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