Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2017 Edition


Play again?
Apple Pay stats Jony: “I won’t be happy until it’s just a featureless block of metal”. The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished Retweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple product Stealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the Keynote
Time-lapse of new office reacting to weather conditions New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”) Something to do with home automation. A refrigerator perhaps? Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again Computer controlled milling machine action shot
Tim Cook “Here it is” FreeSpace Tech nerds moaning about open-plan offices 9.42am!
Attempting to fix the Apple TV remote with software update Lots of iPhone-shot pictures of smiling Caucasians Super-earnest medical research VT “But I’ve already given the NSA my fingerprints…” Eddy Cue does some dad dancing
All the colours! Available in all the colours! Glimmers of hope that ARKit might actually have practical applications Enterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes* Apple effectively claims to have invented HDR Advert

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