Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2017 Edition


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Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true You get a Pro thing, You get a Pro thing, EVERYBODY GETS A PRO THING! The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished Retweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple product A new app that looks OK, but nothing special
Steve Jobs Theatre Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again “Partnership” Steve Jobs Staff Restaurant Losing track of the number of things Steve Jobs would never have allowed
“We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance” Eddy Cue FreeSpace Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade Wireless charging! Great! *throws a dozen Lightning cables in the trash*
That’s a NICE new Apple Store “We think it’s great” Apple effectively claims to have invented HDR New office… or Deathstar? “But I’ve already given the NSA my fingerprints…”
“Here it is” ZING! Take THAT Google! Poorly implemented cloud features H*cking Brexit Steve Jobs Multi-Faith Prayer Room

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum