Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2017 Edition


Play again?
“Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?” Content rights holders visibly soiling themselves The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished “It’s in beta, right now” Wireless charging! Great! *throws a dozen Lightning cables in the trash*
“We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance” Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade They’re good phones, Brent. Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true The ever-growing confusion of which devices get true-tone, force-touch, mega-frame-rate
[a Drag Race GIF that perfectly illustrates something] Apple effectively claims to have invented HDR FreeSpace Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again Here comes the finance bit!
100% more glass for extra shatterability ZING! Take THAT Google! All the colours! Available in all the colours! “Boom!/Bam!” or other onomatopoeic word Deluded attempt to fix the Apple TV by changing the interface again
A tweet that just says “oooh” followed by a bunch of hashtags First “hands-on” from CNet that is anything but Tim Cook’s thin, watery smile Footage of pleasingly diverse (for Apple) employees in a glass meeting room “Partnership”

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