Apple Keynote Bingo

Hello Again
October 2016 Edition


Play again?
“Partnership”Price point slightly too high, but not high enough to stop you buying9.42am!Tim Cook’s thin, watery smileA tweet that just says “oooh” followed by a bunch of hashtags
That’s a NICE new Apple Store“We think it’s great”Myraid ports replaced by USB-CEnterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes*EXCRUCIATING third party demo
Can you play the function key panel like a cheap child’s toy piano? I hope so“Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?”FreeSpace[Seriously, tho – MagSafe was ace. WHY, APPLE? WHY?]Hopes the “music” act isn‘t a DJ cross-fading on the touchbar
First “hands-on” from CNet that is anything butPreviously ethusiatic Unix Nerds decrying loss of keys they never usedA new app that looks OK, but nothing specialTim CookSmiling children in an emerging market play with an iPad
Even the fanboys seem bored with iterative improvementNew office… or Deathstar?Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audienceThe Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finishedNo headphone port! *Muppet arm flail*

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