|“Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?”
||Content rights holders visibly soiling themselves
||The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished
||“It’s in beta, right now”
||Wireless charging! Great! *throws a dozen Lightning cables in the trash*
|“We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance”
||Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade
||They’re good phones, Brent.
||Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true
||The ever-growing confusion of which devices get true-tone, force-touch, mega-frame-rate
|[a Drag Race GIF that perfectly illustrates something]
||Apple effectively claims to have invented HDR
||Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again
||Here comes the finance bit!
|100% more glass for extra shatterability
||ZING! Take THAT Google!
||All the colours! Available in all the colours!
||“Boom!/Bam!” or other onomatopoeic word
||Deluded attempt to fix the Apple TV by changing the interface again
|A tweet that just says “oooh” followed by a bunch of hashtags
||First “hands-on” from CNet that is anything but
||Tim Cook’s thin, watery smile
||Footage of pleasingly diverse (for Apple) employees in a glass meeting room