Apple Keynote Bingo


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You are trolled by a Samsung userThe Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished“Amazing”Oblique reference to security of your dataTotalling how much you have to spend on upgrades to get a minor new feature
Someone says “This isn’t how Steve would have done it”Someone says “This is exactly how Steve would have done it”Marco Arment tweets “‘Shit’ – [maker of usurped feature]”Eddy CueNew, patent pending, “unnes-accessory”
“Android already does that!”“Really cool”FreeSpaceCrucial feature not yet rolled out to older modelDisappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true
Instagrammed photo of the Keynote (a.k.a. Tim Cook with a vintage feel)Your obsoleted laptop follows its time-to-die signalPhil SchillerRelief that there’s not a new connectorA new app that looks OK, but nothing special
Inevitable fingerprint sensorRendered VT of terrifying new office“And if you’re an intelligence agency, you’re going to love this”“Look at that”Here comes the finance bit!

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Idea and words by @patrickhmason Built by @davidmoss Like this? Try Inspired by Apple and Trollem Ipsum