Apple Keynote Bingo

June 2016 Edition


Play again?
Vague promises of innovation to comeSomething to do with home automation. A refrigerator perhaps?Attempting to fix the Apple TV remote with software updateNew office…or Deathstar?3D Touch rebranded again to something even creepier
A new app that looks OK, but nothing specialWhat is the use case re: Tinder?“We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance”“Billion”“Let me show it to you”
Computer controlled milling machine action shotEnterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes*FreeSpaceEddy Cue does some dad dancingDoubling down on security AND WE ALL KNOW WHY
WHERE’S THE FUCKING CAR, APPLE.That moment when you didn‘t think you wanted one, but you really doFirst “hands-on” from CNet that is anything butEXCRUCIATING third party demoStealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the Keynote
Watch’s purely decorative role confirmed by more bandsPrice point slightly too high, but not high enough to stop you buyingThe Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished“I’ll never get used to that!” *gets used to it almost immediately*Male presenters undo yet another shirt button

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum