Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2017 Edition


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First “hands-on” from CNet that is anything but Enterprise! Woo yeah! *rolls eyes* “Boom!/Bam!” or other onomatopoeic word A new app that looks OK, but nothing special Tech nerds moaning about open-plan offices
Everyone loses their shit about something technical “We think it’s great” Here comes the finance bit! They’re good phones, Brent. All the colours! Available in all the colours!
Time-lapse of new office reacting to weather conditions “But I’ve already given the NSA my fingerprints…” FreeSpace Steve Jobs Medical Centre “Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?”
Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade Dreadful skit EXCRUCIATING third party demo Poorly implemented cloud features “We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance”
You get a Pro thing, You get a Pro thing, EVERYBODY GETS A PRO THING! Apple stops pretending the Apple Watch is anything other than an expensive Fitbit New Apple TV screensavers (because that will fix it, obviously) Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audience Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum