|Hopes the “music” act isn‘t a DJ cross-fading on the touchbar
||Computer controlled milling machine action shot
||Where’s the Mac Pro update, Apple?
||No headphone port! *Muppet arm flail*
||Content rights holders visibly soiling themselves
|Tim Cook’s thin, watery smile
||Everyone loses their shit about something technical
||Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audience
||New Apple TV screensavers (because that will fix it, obviously)
||Jony: “I won’t be happy until it’s just a featureless block of metal”.
|Lots of iPhone-shot pictures of smiling Caucasians
||Market analysts hoping consumers “swipe-right” on new MacBooks
||“We hope you like it”
||Siri on more stuff - more uselessness, more of the time
||Price point slightly too high, but not high enough to stop you buying
||Here comes the finance bit!
||The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished
||New office… or Deathstar?
|“We think it’s great”
||Retweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple product
||“Let me show it to you”
||New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”)
||Stealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the Keynote