Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2018 Edition


Play again?
Parabolic curve on underside of watch subtly, accessorily, incompatibly different Victory finally declared in the war on bezels Your old watch is junk! JUNK! Eddy Cue does some dad dancing Watch strap made of something weird (e.g. soylent green, unicorn hair)
“Billion” Tim Cook’s thin, watery smile Sir Jony Ive Losing track of the number of things Steve Jobs would never have allowed Tim Cook
Lots of iPhone-shot pictures of smiling Caucasians Tech nerds moaning about open-plan offices FreeSpace Thin as a feature MOAR WATCH STRAPS
Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audience Jony: “I won’t be happy until it’s just a featureless block of metal”. That’s a NICE new Apple Store “We’ve doubled down on security, just in case. Everything’s fine, though.” The ever-growing confusion of which devices get true-tone, force-touch, mega-frame-rate
Apple stops pretending the Apple Watch is anything other than an expensive Fitbit A new app that looks OK, but nothing special Phil Schiller serves some Samsung- or Google-baiting shade Steve Jobs Staff Restaurant “We hope you like it”

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum