Apple Keynote Bingo

“Let us loop you in”
March 2016 Edition


BINGO!

Play again?
9.42am!Swift? Maybe. I’m not a developer. I don’t careDoubling down on security AND WE ALL KNOW WHY“We love music, but you wouldn’t think so given this closing performance”Beats 2: all the middle-of-the-roads hits, all the time.
“I’ll never get used to that!” *gets used to it almost immediately*Phil Schiller“Boom!/Bam!” or other onomatopoeic wordA tweet that just says “oooh” followed by a bunch of hashtagsTim Cook’s thin, watery smile
The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finishedA new app that looks OK, but nothing specialFreeSpaceDreadful skitPrice point slightly too high, but not high enough to stop you buying
Apple Music becomes marginally less infuriatingThat’s a NICE new Apple StoreStealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the KeynoteYou get a Pro thing, You get a Pro thing, EVERYBODY GETS A PRO THING!A new computer? Who knew.
Tim CookContent rights holders visibly soiling themselvesJony – you could do with some botox, bae.Vague promises of innovation to comeThey Didn’t Forget About Dre

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum