Apple Keynote Bingo


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“mini”Who is this guy?New screen made from ludicrously expensive substanceRendered VT of terrifying new officeSmiling children in an emerging market play with an iPad
New payment system basically only usable for Bluebottle coffee in San Francisco“And if you’re an intelligence agency, you’re going to love this”Security whitewash over any iCloud vulnerabilities. There were none“It’s available in beta today”“I’ll never get used to that!” *gets used to it almost immediately*
“Really cool”iMessage syncing to stop sucking; Also, flying pigsFreeSpace“4.7? Or 5.5? Fuck it, I’ll just get both.”New product likely to have poorly implemented cloud features
Data sharing controls now summarised on a Just How Creepy dialTim CookHealthKit measures just how many miles your demons have made you runEducation. It’s all about education. Is it PHOOEY. It’s about Flappy Birds.First troll-y article claiming to be “bored of Apple”
ZING! Take THAT Google!Better GPS means more accurate “location-based dating”“Exciting”“Air”“nano”

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Idea and words by @patrickhmason Built by @davidmoss Like this? Try Inspired by Apple and Trollem Ipsum