Apple Keynote Bingo

September 2018 Edition


BINGO!

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iPhone with Thunderbolt 3 and TouchBar Home automate ALL THE THINGS Lots of iPhone-shot pictures of smiling Caucasians A tweet that just says “oooh” followed by a bunch of hashtags Apple Pay stats
9.42am! Poorly implemented cloud features “It’s available in beta, right now” “We’ve doubled down on security, just in case. Everything’s fine, though.” Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audience
Footage of pleasingly diverse (for Apple) employees in a glass meeting room Advert FreeSpace “Budget phone”: the biggest grammatical LOL since “alternative facts” “Let me show it to you”
Whatever, it’s still a square watch New Apple TV screensavers Steve Jobs Medical Centre Tim Cook Your old watch is junk! JUNK!
Computer controlled milling machine action shot The ever-growing confusion of which devices get true-tone, force-touch, mega-frame-rate MOAR WATCH STRAPS Apple’s lack of diversity manifests itself on stage once again “Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?”

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