Apple Keynote Bingo

Special Event
September 2016 Edition


Play again?
“Oh, you started with a single piece of aluminium, did you?”New watch is Godilocks wrong – too big, too small, too complicated, too similarBeats 2: all the middle-of-the-roads hits, all the time.New Apple TV screensavers (because that will fix it, obviously)New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”)
ZING! Take THAT Google!Where’s my 5K monitor, Apple?Eddy CueEveryone loses their shit about something technicalThat’s a NICE new Apple Store
Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY trueThey Forgot About DreFreeSpaceWhat is the use case re: Tinder?Tim Cook’s thin, watery smile
No headphone port! *Muppet arm flail*Inane fratboy-esque whooping from the audienceWhere’s the Mac Pro update, Apple?Stealthy upgrade to a product not mentioned in the KeynoteTim Cook
Apply Pay statsA tweet that just says “oooh” followed by a bunch of hashtagsMOAR WATCH BANDS for your increasingly useless watchHealth monitoring features. It’s all about the stats, folksRetweet of Oatmeal cartoon about owning an Apple product

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum