Apple Keynote Bingo

Hello Again
October 2016 Edition


Play again?
Physical Escape key sold for $9.99 and €9.99, but also £9.99 (f*ck you, Brexit) A new app that looks OK, but nothing special Tim Cook Poorly implemented cloud features Everyone loses their shit about something technical
“We hope you like it” The Verge hits 10 “articles” before the thing’s even finished New, fairly dreary, feature gets ridiculous name (e.g. “Power Station”) Phil Schiller MacPro gets an underwhelming update
Dreadful skit [Seriously, tho – MagSafe was ace. WHY, APPLE? WHY?] FreeSpace Male presenters undo yet another shirt button Even the fanboys seem bored with iterative improvement
Nice independent software maker totally undermined by a new feature Hopes the “music” act isn‘t a DJ cross-fading on the touchbar “Billion” “It’s no Surface” Headphone jack now via USB-C -> lightning -> 3.5mm adapter
Disappointment as all the rumours turn out to be EXACTLY true Eddy Cue does some dad dancing Where’s my 5K monitor, Apple? New Apple TV screensavers (because that will fix it, obviously) “Let me show it to you”

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Made with love in Edinburgh, Scotland by @patrickhmason and @davidmoss Want more snark? Try Trollem Ipsum